To Confront or Not to Confront - That is the Question

One of the toughest things we have to do on this earth is to learn to confront others. Such a fine line is walked when we have been wronged seriously enough to confront our offender. It is extremely easy to slip into sin when we are wronged. If we aren't very careful, our response can be more sinful than the original wrong done to us.

Some sinful ways of handling a wrong are so familiar, we've forgotten it's even sin. For instance, we can approach the situation by choosing to take our pride and hurt to everyone around, except the one who has wronged us. Or, we might choose not to confront, while never forgiving the offender, causing deep wounds in us that are slow to heal.

Over and over in Scripture we are given instructions on how to treat others. Proverbs 19:11 says, "a man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." Yet Jesus tells us, "if your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him." (Luke 17:3)

So which is it? Do we try to be "nice" to everyone and overlook sin? Or do we go out of our way to rebuke everyone we meet?

I think the key lies in Galatians 5:25, "...let us keep in step with the Spirit." We must constantly check with the Lord to see how He would have us handle the conflict in our lives.

This morning I sent a difficult letter to a woman who has owed me money for quite a while. (I had signed up for a conference that was canceled and never received a refund.) Last week when I asked the Lord what I should do regarding this situation, I clearly received the answer of, "Do Nothing." Over and over, I asked Him what He wanted me to do. Yet, I was to simply obey and "Do Nothing," trusting Him for the outcome. However, for the last two days, without even asking Him, I felt released to Do Something. I specifically asked the Lord this morning to please clarify what I was sensing. I believe I was not only released to reach out to her, but that I was to do so for the good of the kingdom of God. Interestingly, unlike last week when I was grieved not to respond to this wrong, I was grieved at now having to confront her.

While the outcome is unknown, God is growing me in this area of living Biblically. While the Bible does call us to love one another, for the sake of His great name and the holiness of His bride, the church, we are sometimes called by God to confront sin (Matthew 18:15-20). And sometimes we are called by God to "overlook an offense." No matter how I feel like responding, my job is to discuss it with God, faithfully following His Word and His leading.

Heavenly Father,
I'll admit that sometimes I just want formulas to follow, but in Your love and mercy You give us a relationship with You instead. Thank You for conflicts with others that remind us to talk with You about everything that is happening in our lives. Please help us to react to others according to Your Word and according to Your will. Please use us to further Your kingdom, knowing You will give us the strength we need to carry out everything You call us to do.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen