The Bug

I've got the bug again. I get it every so often but about once I year I get a pretty bad case. I'm not technically ill but others might disagree. Especially the other with whom I live.

Most of the time I go through life on a kind of auto-pilot. I get up, get dressed, put on one of the ten outfits I rotate over and over and rush out the door for work. I come home, take off said outfit, put on my wear-around-the-house clothes and complete my evening tasks (dinner, TV, etc.). I don't look around wondering if there is anything else that needs to be done. I concentrate on what has to be accomplished and am asleep before my head hits the pillow.

Then, one day a dawning will unexpectedly come over me. I suddenly see clothes in my closet that I haven't worn for years. Things in the hall closet clamor to be given away. I am desperate to go through the garage and part with items that I've just had to keep for years.

I am hit with a clarity about my possessions that I rarely have. And, I know this clarity won't last long. If I scheduled a day to clean out the garage next month, I would probably struggle through each box and end up keeping everything. But, on a day when I have the bug, I know I have to strike while the iron is hot. Without anyone knowing. Because if someone knows, then they might try to stop me.

My husband is going on a business trip this week and, as much as I've tried to hide it, he can see that glint in my eye. He even came right out this morning and told me that he does not want to come home to find that I have cleaned out the garage while he is away.

So, I have spent my last four waking hours trying to figure out how quickly I can get to the first box after his flight departs.

And, it just struck me. Is this desire from the Lord? Or is this from my flesh? My automatic assumption is that this desire is from my flesh because I'm trying to hide it from others while spending more than a little thought on how I will accomplish my scheme.

But, I felt God whisper, "What if this is a gift from Me?"

How often do I assume that my plans are right or wrong without checking with God first? If I believe that His plans for me are good and not for harm, wouldn't it make sense to at least talk to Him about my thoughts?

My favorite Bible passage is 1 Thessalonians 5:16 - 18 (NIV). It says, "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Holding these verses up against my cleaning-scheme makes the situation a lot clearer. For instance, I know it is hard to be joyful when I'm worried about my stuff. I've certainly not been praying continually or God and I would have already discussed this matter. And, I haven't taken even a moment yet to thank God for providing me with so much that I've got to give it away!

This is a fresh reminder that God wants me to talk with Him about everything, especially the things for which I am thankful. And, talking with Him brings me joy.

I don't know how much longer I'll have the bug this time. But I now know that I shouldn't hide it. If this bug is from God then He'll help me accomplish everything that He wants done without alienating those around me. If this bug is from me, then I can trust God to take it away and thank Him for loving me too much to continue with my cleaning-scheming ways.

Lord God,
Thank you for loving me so much. Thank you that you want me to talk with You about everything that is happening in my life -- even the things I don't want anyone else to know. I'm glad that You want me to do things Your way because Your ways are best.
I love You.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen